Yarnall Genealogy

Mary Louise Palm Yarnall - At The End

Her lasting influence
She was always very diligent about expressing her appreciation. I saved notes from her dated 12/29/97 and 1/15/1992.
Her declining health and her courage
Except for her continuous sinus infections during her life, she was very active and healthy. In her early 70's she started to have a series of challenges. She had hypertension, heart disease, hardening of the arteries, and osteoporosis in her final years. This courageous person battled to stay alive as long as she could. I helped her arrange her daily medications (about 12) with a spreadsheet listing on her PC. My medications at present are only one capsule a day at age 71. She had at least a dozen different medications with varied schedules. She stayed alert and did what so few could do as she cared for herself - took her medications just as her doctor prescribed. NOTE: At age 80 I am almost up to her number of daily medications: 2 for gout, 1 for slight asthma, 1 for enlarged prostate, 3 for hypertension, and 1 for urine flow. That is 8.
Many hospitalizations
Her courage and perseverance were most evident when she had to go to the hospital. This became a regular event at least twice a year for her last five years. She would face serious surgery for clogged arteries or recovery from potassium deficiencies with hardly any complaint. Less determined people would have thrown in the towel. She wanted no part of a retirement facility. She wanted to stay in her apartment. During her last hospital stay in early May 1998 brain cancer was discovered . This was a condition that would not respond to her will and determination. I was told about it before she was told. The doctor promised me he would tell her prior to my visit to the hospital the next day.
Positive person
I was very apprehensive when I entered her room. She seemed very upbeat and asked me her usual set of questions about Polly and my golf game. Maybe the doctor did not keep his promise. I asked her if the doctor had spoken to her about her scans and test procedures. She said, "Yes." That was her answer! That was all. That was it. Then she changed the subject and remained very upbeat as we discussed what was going on in the hospital. She was to be switched to a better single room the next day.
Time to say thanks
By now I was wondering what she was told. I went to the nurses' desk to find the doctor to ask what she was told. He said she knew she had about 60 days to live. So I went back to her room and began to thank her for all that she had done for me. It took a long time because I wanted to make sure she heard a complete account of the many things I appreciated.
Time to review her life
I asked her how she felt. She merely said something about going home. At first I thought she wanted to leave the hospital, but she made it clear to me what she meant. She pointed up to the sky out her window and indicated that is what she meant by "home". I started a rambling question, "What made you most proud during your life? Was it your becoming a valedictorian? Was it shooting a low golf score? Was it the wonderful items you created with knitting and ceramics?" I was trying to give her multiple choices and give her time to think.
Her response
She held up her hand to signal me to stop talking and said, "I am most proud of my children. They gave me the most joy." She always kept a portrait of us on her bedroom wall. She always wanted to know what we were doing. Her life revolved around us so her comment should not have surprised me, but it stopped me in my tracks. It was silent for a significant period of time as I tried to stay composed. I could only mutter, "You are terrific."
Many many friends
Her neighbors, people she met during her hospital trips, and many other people were always ready to help her. There was a group of girls at the local high school at Christmas time that brought her a basket of food and gifts for personal hygene. The boys at the autoshop at the high school painted her car one year. Rusty Rowand stayed with her during some very challenging times. Pauline Phillips was next door and provided help in so many ways. Monta Coil would come from thirty miles away to talk with her and help her get things from the pharmacy or the grocery store. There was a group of "girls" that went to lunch about once a month. She joined them when she was strong enough. One of them would sneak in a pack of cigarettes to her at her apartment because I would throw out any I found. I hoped that might keep her alive longer. Her will kept her alive.
Final Visits
In her frail condition she wanted to fly out to CA to see her son, Bill. It was a good visit. It was also a strain. Then she wanted to fly down to GA to visit her son, Bob. I saw how weak she looked so I thought it was not a good idea, but you know who won that debate. Her daughter Sue gave her a ride to the airport because I was against the idea.
Date and place of death
She died June 30, 1998 in Cumming, GA at the home of her son Bob. She was cremated and her ashes were flown to be at her Memorial Service that was held at the Mathis Funeral Home in Medford, NJ at 10:00 a.m. on July 11, 1998.
Burial and later research
Her cremains were buried in the Grove Section (lot 229) of the Arlington Memorial Cemetery in Upper Darby, PA just across from where she attended high school. She rests at the Palm family gravesite. Five years later I visited her grave. I decided to go across the street to see if there were any high school records for her. I had tried by phone and mail to obtain her high school transcript. This was my lucky day. The record keeper who gave me the papers looked at them and said, "She was a very good student." This was a comment by a person who had seen thousands of transcripts. Mother had 5 A's and 3 B's during her senior year in high school. She was in the top 12% of her class that year. This was the year after her mother had died.

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